Troublesome Kids
by AlyssaOtaku69
Summary: Poor Itachi. Why does he have the task of taking care of the two troublesome kids. Why can't Sasuke and Naruto just give him a break? Let's find out. This is a bunch of one shots. They are all for fun.
1. Feelings

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **This isn't a pairing story. It is just a random fun story with three of my favorite males in Naruto. It will always be in Itachi's POV. A lot of the times Itachi will be dealing with the actions of Sasuke and Naruto. They won't be long nor will they be a set dialogue. It will be in the Ninja universe along with AU. It is basically like a bunch of one shots.**_

 _ **Ages will always be on the top to tell you the way they will think.**_

 _ **Itachi: 16**_

 _ **Naruto & Sasuke: 12**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter**_

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Itachi was having a dilemma at the moment. Why did his brother's best friend Naruto think it was normal to talk to him about his feelings? He wasn't a damn therapist.

"Are you listening Itachi?" Naruto asked sitting on Itachi's bed.

Itachi was trying his best to ignore him so he could finish his homework but this was really something that couldn't be avoided.

"What happened Naruto?" Itachi asked.

"Sasuke is a bastard. Not only did he throw my frog wallet full of money in the river but he told me he wasn't going to replace it because I told him I was going to ask Sakura out on a date." Naruto said.

"Did you ever think he didn't want you to ask her out?" Itachi asked bringing enlightenment to the young teen making his eyes go wide.

"Do you think he wants to ask her out? Because he never told me anything like that." Naruto asked truly curious.

Itachi stopped with his writing and turned completely to Naruto and realized one of two things. The blonde was very compassionate to Sasuke and that Sasuke either has a crush on him or Sakura.

"I would ask him if he likes her. If he does he will tell you." Itachi said.

"Thanks, Itachi," Naruto said jumping to give him a hug only to get pushed away.

Itachi shook his head and continued doing his homework and wasn't disturbed for the rest of the day then again both boys weren't in the house at the moment.

Later that night when Itachi walked downstairs he went to kitchen to get something to eat so he could go back upstairs to study when Sasuke ran through the door.

"BROTHER!" Sasuke screamed.

"In here," Itachi called out sighing before his brother could see.

Sasuke came running to the kitchen after that and just glared at Itachi.

"Is something wrong little brother?" Itachi asked an eyebrow rising.

"Naruto thinks I like Sakura." Sasuke said.

"Do you?" Itachi asked eating his sandwich.

"NO OF COURSE NOT!" Sasuke screamed and ran off leaving his brother bewildered.

'Why do I have to deal with them both?' Itachi thought as he walked upstairs.

Itachi realized that Sasuke confirmed his suspicions of Sasuke liking Naruto.

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 ** _Reviews._**

 ** _If you have ideas on what you would like me to write I am willing to do it._**

 ** _REMEMBER THERE IS NO PLOT! It is centered on how Itachi solves the problems the other two create most of the time. It also shows him getting into problems of his own where the other two or one tries to help Itachi out of._**


	2. Arrested

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **ukewithdarksoul: I am into the idea but it won't show the full on sex but I think you will like what I come up with and what happens within the chapter.**_

 ** _Itachi: 22_**

 ** _Sasuke & Naruto: 18_**

 ** _Enjoy the chapter everyone._**

* * *

Itachi didn't know what to say when he got the phone call from his little brother and his little brother's best friend telling him they were in jail. How the hell did the two manage to go to jail was beyond his knowledge.

"I am here to bail out Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha." Itachi said to the police officer at the desk.

"Let me get the paperwork. There bail is a thousand dollars each." The officer said like he was used to it.

"That's fine," Itachi growled out pulling out the money.

The officer ignored Itachi's growl because he was used to getting that when people came to bail out their loved ones. A cop really shouldn't be used to something like that.

Itachi filled out all the paper while feeling the need to lash out on his brother and his friend.

"Here," Itachi said to the officer as he filled out all the paperwork and gave him the check for the two.

"I will be right back." The officer said giving Itachi a look of pity and Itachi wondered why he looked at him that way.

Itachi didn't know what he did in a past life for him to deserve these two idiots in his life. Hell he loved them but sometimes they were just too much for him.

"Here they are," the officer said handing Itachi their belongings.

"This shit was your fault idiot." Sasuke grumbled.

Itachi could tell that Sasuke was drunk because the slur of his words.

"It wasn't my fault. I had to go with you because I know you." Naruto said holding Sasuke's arm as the door opened.

"Thank you," Itachi said to the officer and looked at the two and realized why the officer pitied him.

Sasuke was full of throw up and smelled like it. Naruto looked okay but he wasn't going to be deceived by the looks but from what he could hear Naruto wasn't slurring his words like his brother.

"Come on you two." Itachi said not sparing them another glance nor did he try to help the two.

"Thank you so much Itachi I don't know what I would have done if you didn't come." Naruto said as he helped Sasuke get into Itachi's car.

"What the hell made you think you should call me?" Itachi asked really curious about Naruto's choice.

"Because I knew you would come." Naruto said completely serious which irked Itachi's nerves.

"Well don't because next time I am leaving you two as jail bait." Itachi said stopping outside Naruto's house.

"Umm... can I stay with you tonight?" Naruto asked.

"You two are troublesome." Itachi said his head hitting the back of his seat.

He was tired and he still was reeling over the fact that they called him at the crack of dawn to tell him they got arrested.

"So what did you two do?" Itachi asked starting the car back up driving toward his house.

"Sasuke had a sugar craving." Naruto said.

"What?" Itachi asked not sure what that explained.

"Sasuke had a sugar craving so he broke into a candy store." Naruto said.

Itachi was astonished and mortified that he just set these two idiots free.

"I really am leaving you two at jail next time." Itachi said.

That was definitely a night Itachi could say he would always remember.

* * *

 ** _Reviews..._**

 ** _This is entertaining to me for fun. Yeah they are short but they are fun._**

 ** _Anymore ideas would be great. I already have a few ideas and I have been writing them out. It could be in the ninja world or regular doesn't matter I am up for anything._**


	3. Sex Talk Do's and Don'ts

_**Hello everyone, how is everyone doing? I am good but not liking all the snow that's in my area right now it sucks and its cold. Glad to have another chapter up for this one. This is one of the longer ones I hope everyone enjoys it. It was honestly fun to write.**_

 _ **ukewithdarksoul: I didn't put the sex exactly but I hope you like this chapter it was really amusing to write.**_

 _ **I want my readers to know that for this particular story since it has no plot you can throw me any ideas and I will be willing to add them in.**_

 _ **Shoutout to my reviewers kotonamiyamazaki1 and inuyasha16451, followers, and favoriters,**_

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Itachi was sure it started a week ago but wasn't sure how it started. Where were these parents when they actually needed them? Itachi swears he can't do this on his own but he was sure he would have to. Itachi was at a complete disbelief when he walked into the room and saw his brother his little brother at that and his best friend Naruto whacking each other off.

He automatically shut the door after telling them to conceal themselves once again.

"Can I come in now?" Itachi asked.

"Yes," both said even though they didn't get the release they needed.

"Do I even want to know why you two are doing this? To each other nonetheless?" Itachi asked.

"Do we have to give you an honest answer?" Naruto asked not one for lying thankfully.

"I would prefer that." Itachi said.

"You're sick." Naruto said turning his head making Sasuke have to hold in a chuckle.

"It's too early to deal with you two. If you don't want to tell me maybe I can tell mom and Kushina so they can give you two sex talks." Itachi said standing up.

"NO!" Both screamed completely freaked out and that humored Itachi nonetheless.

"Okay then tells me what and how this happened?" Itachi asked not really wanting to know but felt like it was required.

"Ahhh... Naruto you tell him." Sasuke grumbled.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders and mumbled a fine then looked at Itachi with serious eyes.

"We felt like doing it because we were horny and no girls like me and too many like him so we decided to do it with each other." Naruto explained.

Itachi couldn't help but release the sigh that came out of his mouth along with shaking his head. That was not the answer he was expecting at all.

"So, you were both horny?" Itachi asked so he could make sure he heard correctly.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other nodded then looked at Itachi with a weird look in their faces it creeped him out then nodded.

"You really couldn't do it apart though?" Itachi asked looking creeped out.

"We could have but that would have been boring. I didn't even know what I was doing. I never whacked off before." Naruto said.

"And Sasuke has?" Itachi asked looking toward his brother.

"Yeah he said he did." Naruto answered.

"Okay, so I need to give you both the sex talk then." Itachi said seeing the displeased look on their faces.

"NO! We really don't need that." Sasuke said.

"Obviously one needs more information than the other but yes you both do need it." Itachi said shaking his head.

"Are you talking about me when you say one needs it more?" Naruto asked.

"Obviously idiot, seriously this is why I told you to lock the damn door." Sasuke growled out.

"You were the last one in the room Sasuke." Naruto said.

"Okay you two stops arguing." Itachi said.

"But do we really have to listen to you tell us about sex?" Naruto whined out with Sasuke nodding his head.

"Are there any questions you need me to answer before I start this conversation?" Itachi asked.

"Do we have to do this?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto raised his hand after Itachi shook his head yes.

"What is it Naruto?" Itachi asked.

"Do you whack off?" Naruto asked curiously and Sasuke couldn't help but now be curious.

"We're definitely not talking about me right now." Itachi said.

"I will take that as a yeah." Naruto said nodding his head. "But proceed anyway." Naruto commented.

"Forget it I will just tell mom." Itachi said standing up.

"NO!" Naruto said grabbing his arm and pulling him back down.

"Ewe... don't touch me you were masturbating with your hands just now." Itachi said pulling his arm away harshly.

"Do wet dreams always happen?" Naruto asked seeing as he finally had someone to talk to.

"Naruto why don't you try talking to your dad about these things?" Itachi asked.

"Because he is never around." Naruto said.

"Okay, but yes wet dreams are normal. How many do you have a week?" Itachi asked.

"Almost every night." Naruto said.

"Okay for now we will skip that one because I don't even knows how to answer that honestly." Itachi said turning his head.

"So, what are you going to tell us?" Sasuke asked resentfully.

"So, there are three ways you can have sex, anal, vaginal, or oral. You two know that, already right?" Itachi asked getting a nod from them. "When you have sex, it is best to use protection and lube if need be." Itachi said.

"Do you have to be gay to do anal?" Naruto asked.

"No... If the girls you're having sex with likes it then you can do it with a female." Itachi asked.

"Would if you don't like girls?" Sasuke asked glancing at Naruto.

"Then you have only two options and those are anal and oral." Itachi answered.

"Is masturbation a form of sex?" Naruto asked.

"I would say it's more for sexual pleasure but yes if you're doing it with someone else that would be sexual contact." Itachi answered. "Have you both been tested for STD's?" Itachi asked.

"I am a virgin." Naruto said.

"I am too idiot." Sasuke said smacking Naruto in the back of the head.

"You never know." Naruto said rubbing his head.

"Alright, have you two kissed anyone or swapped bodily fluids with anyone other than each other?" Itachi asked.

"We didn't," Sasuke answered for them.

"That's good to know but what do you two do at parties?" Itachi asked remembering his own parties.

"I don't want to stick my tongue down no one's throat." Sasuke said sounding disgusted.

"Well you can get STD's from any of those ways. Now to go on to the STD's... that infect your genitals there is chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis, HIV, herpes, HPV and genital warts, hepatitis B, crabs, scabies, trichomoniasis. As for what can infect your mouth and throat would be herpes, syphilis, gonorrhea, HPV, and hepatitis B. Now there are some that only need skin to skin contact that would be herpes, HPV, crabs, and scabies." Itachi explained.

"What is HPV?" Naruto asked.

"Human papillomavirus," Itachi said. "Any other questions?" Itachi asked looking at both shocked boys with them shaking their heads. "Alright then let's continue... if you were to have anal sex it would be good to use lube because it will not only hurt less but will be safer. If you get an STD go to see your doctor and see if it has a cure most do but some don't." Itachi said pausing to see if they had anything to add.

"What are ways for protection?" Sasuke asked.

"There are female condoms, male condoms as you know already, and dental dams." Itachi said.

"What are dental dams?" Naruto asked.

"It is a thin sheet of latex or polyurethane sheets used between the mouth and vagina or anus during oral sex. If you want the do's and don'ts for that one you have to look it up on your own." Itachi said.

"Would if you want to have sex with someone and you want to use protection but they don't?" Naruto asked.

"Is someone trying to force you into sex?" Itachi asked looking at Naruto then eyeing his brother.

"No, I was just wondering." Naruto said shaking his hands.

"Okay well then they aren't right for you. You shouldn't be with them no matter who they are." Itachi said.

"Oh, so for instance if I say that Sasuke is forcing himself on me without protection I shouldn't be with him." Naruto said.

"DON'T USE ME IDIOT!" Sasuke screamed.

"Yes, it's wrong." Itachi said.

"You don't believe what this idiot is saying right Itachi?" Sasuke asked grabbing his brother's arm.

"DON'T TOUCH ME WITH YOUR HANDS! And he wasn't saying you were." Itachi screamed then clarified bouncing away from them.

"You're being dramatic." Sasuke said and Naruto nodded his head in agreement.

"No, I'm not; you two were just touching each other. I don't want your germs." Itachi said.

"Good point we were using lotion and all that." Naruto said making Sasuke chuckle.

"That's it I am not talking to anymore." Itachi said making both laugh at him.

He got up to go to the door.

"There is one rule I am sure is a given for you Sasuke. Do you know what that is?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke shook his head no.

"Uchiha men never bottom." Itachi said with a smirk and left them both confused.

"WAIT! WHAT DOES THAT MEAN!?" Sasuke screamed but Itachi ignored him in favor of them learning it themselves.

Itachi couldn't help but laugh after two weeks though he saw another change he wasn't sure of wanting to know about.

"Itachi, did you notice that Naruto and Sasuke have been closer?" Mikoto asked.

"Yes, I noticed." Itachi said. 'I am here more than you.' Itachi thought as he ate his Dango his mother bought him.

"Do you know if they are dating?" Mikoto asked.

"I think they may be but I don't know for sure and I don't even want to ask." Itachi said knowing what his mother was going to say next.

"Please find out for me come on do it for your mama. I bought you Dango." Mikoto said.

"So, this was a bribe." Itachi said standing up with the plate of Dango walking upstairs.

"ARE YOU GOING TO ASK?" Mikoto screamed to her older son but Itachi thoroughly ignored her.

As he walked up stairs Sasuke and Naruto were walking out Sasuke's room. Itachi noticed the hickeys on Sasuke and Naruto's neck then he noticed the limp Naruto had making Itachi chuckle behind his hand.

"MOTHER THEY ARE DATING!" Itachi screamed out.

"ITACHI!" Sasuke and Naruto screamed at him but it was too late the damage was done.

Itachi walked past them gleefully with an actual smile on his face happy he just destroyed their fun times for now on. He heard his mother as she ran up the stairs and started talking to them about a bunch of things he tuned out. They would eventually get him back but at the moment he really didn't care if they did.

"That was so worth it." Itachi said as he sat on his bed put on his headphones and ate his Dango.

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 ** _Reviews.._**

 ** _I swear I can picture Itachi getting back at them that way seeing as they really did piss him off in the room when they kept touching him and asking him questions they knew he didn't want to answer._**


	4. Why am I in this?

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **Sorry I haven't been around. But I just started my new semester quite recently and I am getting used to my classes and not only that English class is a drag that involves a lot of papers and essays so I haven't had much time to write. But I did get a little bit done for fun.**_

 _ **ALSO Side note for my story Difficult Love I have a poll up for it right now and it is about what Naruto is going to be so if you read that story check out the poll and cast your votes because once the second chapter comes out I will be deciding what he is going to be off the votes. Not only that but you can have two options. I hope you guys check out the story. Something big is being planned for chapter 3 already but I am still working on chapter 2.**_

 _ **Itachi: 17**_

 _ **Naruto &Sasuke: 13**_

 ** _Well anyways off with the story._**

 ** _Enjoy as always._**

* * *

Itachi had no idea why he was in this with these two idiots but at the moment he was getting reprimanded at least that's what he thought was a reprimanding by his father about something he had nothing to do with at least that he knew of. Little did he know it wasn't by no means a yelling session.

"So what do you have to say for yourself Itachi?" Fugaku asked.

"I didn't do it." Itachi said.

"That's utterly shocking to think these two did it all by themselves." Fugaku said firmly.

"I swear I didn't do anything father." Itachi said still trying to plead his case for a good scolding.

He really should have been listening to his father instead of tuning him out. But what can he say he's a teenager and all teenagers do it.

"Then Sasuke, Naruto you both can get one hundred dollars for doing this without being told. I usually don't go out of my way to give rewards but your mother was so happy that she told me to give you three something. But since I didn't know what none of you wanted I give you both a hundred dollars each. As for you Itachi since you didn't do it you don't get a reward." Fugaku said handing both boys a hundred dollar bill.

"Can we go now?" Naruto asked.

"Yes but be good." Fugaku said and they both smirked at Itachi then ran off.

"What exactly did they do?" Itachi asked confused.

"They cleaned the whole house. When I say the whole house I mean the whole house. In the cracks and everything." Fugaku said shocking Itachi.

Itachi didn't know they did that or he would have taken credit for it but damn they and the trickery they got him programmed to think he was in trouble. He was definitely going to get them back for that.

* * *

 _ **Reviews..**_

 _ **I wanted them to trick Itachi in a way and that's what they did. Okay as for this randomness you can always throw in some ideas in the reviews.**_


	5. Truth or Dared

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **How is everyone doing?**_

 _ **Side Note: This side note is for my story Difficult Love I won't be posting Chapter 2 until I finish with this poll for it because I want to give a little information about Naruto's past but I can't do that if I don't choose what he is. So the poll will only be up until Saturday. But I will be checking it throughout the week. Don't get me wrong the chapter isn't done yet but I can't finish it until I figure out what he is going to be.**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 _ **Itachi: 15**_

 ** _NaruSasu: 13_**

 ** _Hope you enjoy._**

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Itachi didn't know what was going on between Naruto and Sasuke but they were starting to take their dares to damn far in his opinion. He always told them to leave him alone when he was sleeping so when he caught both of them in his room a handful of times he decided to whoop their asses. For some reason that didn't deter either of them though.

When that didn't work he told his mom he needed a lock on his door. His dad asked him why and told him depending on the reason that it would be negotiable. He explained that a fifteen-year-old needed his privacy from his thirteen-year-old brother that didn't know the meaning of the word knock. His father granted him permission for the lock and he went to the store right away.

He didn't expect to walk into his room and right away get caught up in a dare his brother conducted. Naruto walked straight up to him and kissed him on the lips and Itachi nearly lit the house on fire with them both in it.

Let's just say they didn't mess with Itachi again for a whole week before Naruto got dared to kiss Itachi again but with tongue this time. Why did his brother want to mess with his life like this? Did he even care that Naruto could die going into his room again? Obviously not because he sent him but this time Itachi had a plan for both of them and this was going to get them to leave him alone for good.

As Naruto slowly creeped out of Sasuke's room Itachi was already there waiting for them pulled Naruto into him and kissed him sticking his tongue in Naruto's mouth then pulled away. Naruto and Sasuke didn't know what to say at least they had the decency to be shocked. Naruto was blushing profusely.

"If you two keep playing games with me I am going to torture you till the end of time. Sasuke send Naruto to kiss me one more time I will give the Haruno girl photos of you when you were a kid taking baths with Naruto." Itachi threatened liking the fact that his brother paled over the thought. He turned to Naruto who was still blushing. "As for you why do you keep letting him give you these damn dares?" Itachi asked annoyed.

"It... it... is a penalty." Naruto muttered out blushing looking to his friend for help.

"Whenever he doesn't want to do a dare I give him he has to go and kiss you. This time I just added tongue." Sasuke finished for his friend.

"I ought to be both of your asses but I think I just am going to something you both won't like." Itachi said pondering what they both won't like at the same time.

"Please Itachi give us mercy. We won't use you as a penalty anymore." Naruto said blushing but still pleading.

If anyone knew it was these two how ruthless Itachi could really be if push came to shove.

"Fine just don't come in my room anymore without knocking." Itachi said and walked away.

He heard them both sigh with relief and run back into Sasuke's room. As composed as Itachi was out there he wasn't composed at all in his room blushing a strong red that wouldn't go away. Why did he encourage it? Not only had that but Naruto taken his first kiss.

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 _ **Reviews...**_

 _ **I bet Itachi wasn't planning that his own plan would backfire right back on him. Funny how life turns out.**_


	6. Mini Sasuke

**_Hello everyone,_**

 ** _Ages:_**

 ** _Itachi: 18_**

 ** _Naruto &Sasuke : 15_**

 ** _Enjoy the chapter..._**

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Itachi Uchiha an eighteen-year-old boy responsible for his brother and his brother's best friend who were three years younger than him. Not once in his entire life did he think he would have to baby sit his brother and his friend. But when Naruto Uzumaki came to their house with a younger four-year-old Sasuke he wanted to punch someone in the face. It shocked him considering he was a damn pacifist. Yes, he was sadistic and loved to torture his little brother but he still didn't like to get violent if his glare could solve a problem.

"Naruto, what happened to my little brother?" Itachi asked eyebrow rose curiously.

"Well..." Naruto rubbed the back of his neck not really sure how to explain what happened exactly.

"Spit it out already I'm not patient and my parents are going to be home soon wondering what happened." Itachi growled out irritated.

"We were trying a bunch of different jutsus while we were practicing Sai came by us saying he had a cool new one and demonstrated on Sasuke. Then this happened." Naruto pointed out to the sleeping four-year-old that he set on the couch.

"Where is Sai?" Itachi asked because he didn't have time for this.

"He was summoned by my dad for a mission that is going to be a month long." Naruto answered moving to the other side of the couch to avoid being hit by the angry Uchiha.

"Your telling me there is a possibility that my little brother is going to be like this for a month. Is that what you're telling me?" Itachi asked his head looking down and sharingan flaring to life.

Naruto nodded his head and was tempted to jump out the window. He knew he should have just brought Sasuke home with him but Sasuke kept asking for his brother.

"I don't know who I want to beat more you or Sai." Itachi growled looking up at Naruto.

"I didn't do anything." Naruto screamed looking down because he didn't want to get caught in Itachi's eyes.

"You will be dealing with this." Itachi said watching his brother move around.

"I would have if he didn't tell me to bring himself to you." Naruto screamed shockingly looking up to Itachi.

Itachi was shocked by the bravery the young teen had to look up at him. But he had to hide his expression.

"So, what should we do then?" Itachi asked sighing giving in because he could leave a four-year-old child with Naruto.

He knew Naruto was right he couldn't blame him for what happened he was just there and that's why it was irritating.

"We can go to my house and see if we can find a way to turn him back." Naruto offered.

"Fine, but why do I have to go?" Itachi asked calmer now.

"Because four eyes are better than two." Naruto reasoned.

"Why don't you ask your other teammate? Or Kakashi?" Itachi asked.

"Because Kakashi is on a mission at the moment and would tell my father it happened. I would get blamed for it when I had nothing to do with it. As for Sakura she would blame me too saying something about me making sure Sasuke dodged instead of worrying about my own safety." Naruto said slightly annoyed.

Itachi thought about it and he knew Naruto was right. He even blamed Naruto for it so he knew the others would blame him.

"Fine I will help you but I swear you better not make me regret this." Itachi said picking up his little brother and following Naruto out the house.

"I am pretty sure you're going to regret this." Naruto said confidently.

"Yeah me too," Itachi said having Naruto close the door.

They needed to get out of here before anyone saw them. They flashed in a bunch of leafs to Naruto's apartment. Thankfully Naruto lived alone or they would have a problem because Naruto's father was the Hokage and would tell his parents what was going on.

"What should we look up first?" Naruto asked setting Sasuke on top of the bed he had in his room.

"Brother?" Sasuke said suddenly waking up.

"Itachi you play with Sasuke and I look things up." Naruto said making Itachi glare at his back but it was thoroughly ignored.

Naruto was the one person in the village to not heed the glare and make Itachi want to punch something or someone. But then again Naruto had the ability to pull out all the Uchiha's emotions.

"Play," Sasuke said jumping up right into Itachi's arms.

Itachi didn't know what to say but he did really want to kick Naruto but Naruto was working diligently to help Sasuke so he could suffer for at least a little bit.

"Okay what do you want to play?" Itachi asked.

"Beat up Naruto," Sasuke said laughing jumping out of Itachi's hands attacking Naruto on his back.

"COME ON SASUKE!" Naruto whined dodging the attack to his eyes.

Before Naruto saw it coming Itachi kicked him in the chest only enough to knock him down grabbing the scroll out his hand and reading it himself.

"Not cool Itachi," Naruto whined while the little Sasuke hit on him.

An hour later Sasuke was done beating on Naruto and came back to Itachi.

"Ni-san I'm hungry. When are we going home?" Sasuke asked.

"We're spending the night by Naruto's tonight. Naruto start cooking." Itachi demanded.

"I don't... fine I will do it." Naruto said getting a glare from Sasuke and Itachi.

Itachi watched with amusement as Naruto started walking to the kitchen and Sasuke follow after him biting his leg to be lifted up while Naruto cooked. Shockingly Naruto was okay with lifting him up and cooking. It was actually pretty adorable where Itachi felt like Naruto would make a great father one day.

"Naruto, I'm going to write a letter to tell my parents where we are." Itachi said.

"Hmm..." That was Naruto lingo okay.

Itachi sent them a letter with his flames. He knew they wouldn't mind because he is sure they felt his chakra in the village. Itachi was still reading scrolls as he heard Sasuke fighting Naruto to get him to make something with more tomatoes.

"Sasuke come here." Itachi called to his little brother to give Naruto a break in a sense.

Naruto has been dealing with all the grunt work with Sasuke the least he could do was give him a break as he cooked. Itachi just played with Sasuke and read to him about scrolls talking about how Sasuke was going to be an amazing ninja when he grew up. The irony in that one.

"The food is done." Naruto called out to the other two.

Both Uchiha's rose to their feet and walked to the kitchen. Itachi was shocked that the food in the kitchen wasn't Ramen and that it was fish and a salad.

"I didn't have time to go food shopping so this is all I have." Naruto said rubbing the back of his neck as he turned his head looking out the window shyly.

"This will have to do Naruto." Itachi said sitting down putting a scroll on the table.

Naruto snatched the scroll up making Itachi glare at him.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked in a menacing tone.

"No scroll reading at the dinner table." Naruto reprimanded.

"This can be a special occasion." Itachi said.

"No," Naruto said.

"Give me the scroll." Itachi said holding out his hand.

"No," Naruto said.

"Brother, we have to eat first." Sasuke said reprimanding the oldest at the table.

'I'm being reprimanded by my kid brother now.' Itachi thought to himself.

After that the dinner was silent with Sasuke eating quietly enjoying his tomatoes.

"Naruto can we train?" Sasuke asked once dinner was over.

"No, we have to go to sleep." Naruto said than glanced at Sasuke to see him pouting. "But we can tomorrow." Naruto said making Sasuke smile and jump to him.

"Then let's hurry and get to sleep." Sasuke said pulling Naruto to his bed.

Itachi just sat on the floor and continued to read scrolls as the other two gathered by the bed.

"Itachi you should go to sleep too." Naruto said but he wasn't demanding like before.

Itachi shook his head no and watched them for a split second then turned back to the scrolls.

It was a few hours later when Itachi started to feel tired and looked around to see where he could sleep and noticed there was still some room for him on the bed so he went to the bed. He didn't mind sleeping with his little brother. But Naruto actually looked pretty cute too curled up with Sasuke at the moment that he really didn't want to wake them. So, he just curled into the spot that was obviously for him.

The morning came to quick in Itachi's opinion but that wasn't what was bothering him at the moment. It was the fact that his baby brother wasn't exactly small anymore which was a good thing but he was suffocating him.

"Sasuke get off of me." Itachi mumbled to not wake up Naruto.

But he glanced down and saw that both of them were practically on top of him and sighed. Despite everything he was glad that the jutsu wore off because now he could go back home. But for some reason that seemed off to him.

"Get off me you two." Itachi mumbled pulling his hands out from under them.

'How did I get in the middle anyway?' Itachi thought to himself.

Naruto was the first to awaken and get off Itachi.

"Sorry about that. You seemed cold and you were falling off the bed so I came to this side." Naruto explained then walked to his bathroom.

Itachi pushed his brother off him and that woke Sasuke.

"Itachi? What are you doing at Naruto's? What am I doing here?" Sasuke asked and the memories from yesterday started playing in his head. "What the fuck? When I see Sai, I am going to beat him bloody." Sasuke growled out his chakra swishing around.

"Calm down Sasuke I don't want you destroying my apartment." Naruto said coming out the bathroom.

"Why didn't it affect you?" Sasuke asked.

"Because I didn't get hit by it." Naruto said.

"That's good at least one of us didn't get hit." Sasuke said thinking about it because they were at the training grounds and that would have been dangerous if enemy ninjas found them. "But why is Itachi here?" Sasuke asked.

"Because you asked Naruto for me and he thought it would be easier to take care of you with me around. But now that you are good I am going home to do some scroll studying at home." Itachi said getting off the bed and jumping toward the window.

"WAIT ITACHI!" Naruto screamed making Itachi and Sasuke look toward him. "Do you want to train with me and Sasuke today?" Naruto asked.

Itachi thought about it and was shocked when he found himself wanting to agree and even more surprised when he nodded his head yes and nodded his goodbyes to the boys. For the first time he wanted to learn more about the two aside from the troubling things they both did. He will regret it later but that will be for later. But maybe not because in all honesty he didn't have any regrets about last night.

* * *

 ** _Reviews..._**

 ** _Side note: The poll for Difficult Love will only be up for a few more days so make your picks soon. If you can't get to it then PM me._**


	7. How?

_**Hello everyone.**_

 _ **So this one is really short but I thought it was funny.**_

 _ **Itachi: 18**_

 _ **Naruto and Sasuke: 13**_

* * *

Itachi felt his partner's stare but he just kept ignoring it because even this genius didn't know how to explain his predicament.

"Itachi, what's going on?" Kisame asked.

They were both missing ninjas this really shouldn't happen to them but here it was. Two young teenage ninjas lying on top of Itachi.

"I have no idea." Itachi responded.

Kisame never thought he would hear those words but there is always a first for everything right? Like right now how did Naruto and Sasuke get to him without him or Kisame even noticing?

"How is this even possible?" Kisame asked.

"I don't know but let's take the blonde before Sasuke wakes up." Itachi said.

"Are you even a little curious on how they got here undetected by both of us?" Kisame asked.

"Nope not at all." Itachi said pushing both off him but grabbed the blonde picking him up tossing him to Kisame to carry.

He only noticed Sasuke was following right after him. Itachi noticed that the teens were connected by their hands.

"Oh, come on," Itachi said sighing and setting his brother on Kisame's back too.

"Itachi?" The blonde was awake at least a little bit.

"How did you get here blondie?" Kisame asked.

"Sasuke brought us here." Naruto said.

"We're not here." Sasuke said and they both vanished.

"HOW!?" Kisame and Itachi screamed at the same time.

A few miles away were Sasuke and Naruto laughing at how they fooled Itachi.

* * *

 ** _Reviews.._**

 ** _I am going to start by saying the reason Sasuke isn't a homicidal maniac in this one is because Naruto being the sneaky little shit that he is found documents about the Uchiha massacre and being the great friend that he is helped Sasuke out by telling him. There is going to be a little follow up story with this one so have fun._**


	8. When?

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **This is the second part of the last chapter.**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 ** _Itachi: 18_**

 ** _Naruto and Sasuke: 13_**

 ** _Enjoy._**

* * *

Itachi couldn't help but be curious, hell even Kisame was curious about what was going on. It made them travel back to Konoha just to find out only to find out that both Naruto and Sasuke disappeared. He went straight to the Hokage tower very angry in secret that night.

"Lord Third put up a barrier." Itachi said the old man did it right away.

"Itachi? What are you doing here?" Sarutobi asked.

"Where is my brother?" Itachi asked irritated beyond belief.

He has been since that little magic act between his brother and Naruto.

"I don't know if you didn't hear from Jiraiya but your brother and Naruto both went missing on a mission and have been presumed dead for a few months now." Sarutobi said.

"Did you send out teams to look for him?" Itachi growled.

"We have sent every team imaginable to look for them. There are only three options that could have happened to the two. One they are dead, two someone has both of them, and three they ran away. But number three wouldn't make sense because Naruto would never run away from the village." Sarutobi said.

Far away from Konoha village Naruto sneezed.

"You better not be getting sick." Sasuke said pushing his blanket closer to Naruto.

"I'm not bastard someone must be talking about me." Naruto said taking the blanket.

"No one even knows we're alive. Good night Naruto," Sasuke whispered softly with a smile.

"Good night," Naruto said and they both fell to sleep.

Itachi left Konoha angrier than absolutely necessary that night. Were Sasuke and Naruto haunting him because he messed up their lives? Well if anything he mainly messed up Sasuke's life not Naruto's but then he was hunting Naruto so maybe they are ghost.

"So, what happened?" Kisame asked as his partner walked in the forest around Konoha with a scowl on his face.

"They aren't here." Itachi said not explaining what he was told because that would give away the fact that he isn't really a bad guy like the rest of them.

"Are we going to look for them? We still need to find the nine-tails host anyway." Kisame said getting a nod from Itachi then following behind him.

They were in for a long mission if they were going to continue with hunting Naruto and Sasuke down because with Naruto being the great escape artist that he is could get away from anything.

* * *

 ** _Reviews.._**

 ** _As you can see they are on the run. No one knows what really happened to the two. There will also be another install about that correlates with How & When I hope you enjoy all of them._**


	9. Why?

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 _ **Itachi: 19**_

 _ **Sasuke: 14**_

 _ **Naruto: 13**_

 ** _I still have the poll up for Difficult Love because right now the poll is in a tie so I am waiting for people to choose so it will stop being a tie so I can continue on with the story. So if you read that story please go and vote on the poll._**

 ** _Enjoy the chapter._**

* * *

Itachi couldn't figure out why Sasuke and Naruto disappeared from the village nor could he figure out if they were dead or not. He found himself going back to Konoha to see if he they came back but they never did and it was a year now since he went to Konoha the first time.

But the two kept appearing in front of him or on top of him getting past all the defenses Kisame and he set up around them. They always got past no matter what the partners did.

The last time it happened was now and Kisame happened to be in chakra cuffs and stuck without his sword completely defenseless.

"Damn it, Itachi helps me out here." Kisame said struggling to get out the cuffs.

The sword was even struggling to get to his owner but it couldn't move either. As Itachi moved to help Kisame a voice called out to him.

"I wouldn't do that if I was you." Naruto said from a tree as Sasuke flashed in front of Kisame putting him in a genjutsu.

"What is going on?" Itachi asked focusing on the two as they moved back to each other.

"We can't say anything right here." Naruto said grabbing Sasuke's arm and hopping to a tree and moving away.

Itachi looked at Kisame then at the backs of his brother and Naruto then followed them. He wanted to know why and he couldn't help that. He could always use the excuse of trying to catch Naruto since he is the nine tails jinchuriki knowing he wouldn't do anything to hurt either both boys.

They made it to a clearing by the time Itachi got to them. Naruto produced shadow clones and when to corners of the clearing that seemed to be planned and put a barrier up.

"What is the meaning of this?" Itachi asked.

"You have some explaining to do." Naruto voiced out while Sasuke seemed to step forward.

"You don't have the power to kill me right now." Itachi said knowing he didn't want to kill his little brother now nor did he finish his own mission.

"That's not what he wants." Naruto said with a smile on his face sitting on a rock.

Sasuke was already in front of Itachi and that made Itachi freeze. It made him tense up the moment he got pulled into a hug.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked slightly freaked out.

"I know everything." Sasuke whispered but Naruto and Itachi both heard him.

"What?" Itachi asked confused.

"I know what you did to protect the village. I know everything about our clan." Sasuke said a stray tear falling down his cheek.

"How?" Itachi asked.

"Because of me, I told him what no one else would." Naruto said.

Itachi felt irritated letting his brother go and getting to Naruto in a second grabbing the younger teen by his throat.

"What gave you the right to tell him anything?" Itachi growled out.

"No one else would and he deserved to know why he was all alone and suffering without the people he loved." Naruto screamed back fear in his eyes but determination more overpowering.

Sasuke pushed his brother off Naruto and got into a protective stance. It was weird to see Sasuke in a protective stance the way he was but his sharingan was flaring and he actually looked angry.

"I did deserve to know so Naruto wasn't wrong." Sasuke said glaring at his older brother.

"What do you plan on doing with that information? Are you planning to destroy the Leaf?" Itachi asked.

"No, we only had one plan." Sasuke said.

"And do tell what plan that is?" Itachi asked.

"To come and get you so we can all have a better life." Naruto said for Sasuke giving them both a warm smile.

There was no ill will between Naruto on both Uchiha and Itachi didn't understand that considering he just choked the blonde.

"Do you want to come with us?" Sasuke asked but it was a whisper.

Itachi felt his heart skip a beat. Could he be a family with his brother again? Thanks to the blonde.

"Yes," Itachi whispered moving toward them with his black eyes no sharingan shocking both boys. "I can be a family with my little brother again I will take it over any other situation in the world." Itachi whispered making Naruto smile.

"Take the ring off. They track you with that right?" Naruto asked with Sasuke nodding his head.

"Yeah," Itachi said taking the ring off to throw it to the ground.

Sasuke ran to one of the barriers and made it flash. Then they were all gone from the spot they were at to another location.

"Where did you two learn all of this?" Itachi asked as he looked around to see a house.

"We put a lot of our jutsus together to make other things which is awesome. They never can find us because aside from you we don't look like ourselves." Naruto said as he walked to the house.

"He made a lot of this possible." Sasuke said with a smile as he pulled Itachi to follow Naruto and himself.

When they walked in the house he realized how furnished and well lived the house actually was. It amazed him how well off the two were and made him question what was going on.

"How did you two get all this?" Itachi asked as he sat on the couch while Naruto made tea coming into the living room by the brothers.

"A lot of threats." Naruto said with a smile.

"What do you mean?" Itachi asked.

"Well we got our inheritance was one reason." Naruto said with a smile.

"How did you two get it?" Itachi asked.

"I took it." Naruto said shrugging his shoulders. "Enough questions about this and that you should explain in your own words what happened to your brother don't you think?" Naruto asked with a weird look on his face.

"That I guess I should." Itachi said seeing where this was going.

"I will be upstairs." Naruto said nodding his head at Sasuke giving him a smile.

"What is wrong with him?" Itachi asked the moment Naruto was away from them.

"RUDE!" Naruto screamed.

"SHUT UP YOU DAMN FOX!" Sasuke screamed.

"NOW THAT IS RUDE TOO!" Naruto screamed laughing.

Sasuke chuckled too with a soft smile appearing on his face.

"What is the meaning of all this?" Itachi asked.

"Well Naruto found the documents about the massacre. He expected me to fly off the handles which I did but he already planned that and stopped me from doing anything terrible. When he finally got me to calm down he conducted a plan to escape the village and find you. I asked him why he was doing all this for me and he said I was the first person to accept him and explained what was inside of him and why you were going after him. So, we both came up with the plan of disappearing on the mission Naruto learned seals a few months before he told me everything and had everything prepared in his own way. Though I can admit I didn't want to find you or go with him but he wouldn't let me avoid either so after a while I just accepted it." Sasuke explained stopping only to get a breath and see Itachi's reaction to everything.

"So, he practically forced you to come with him and become a missing ninja?" Itachi asked.

"No, he's the reason why I'm not a criminal ninja." Sasuke said softly with a smile on his face.

Itachi couldn't believe what happened or what the blonde did to his brother but he actually liked the thought of being a family with his little brother. He can actually let go of his past and be with his brother.

"Let everything go and be with us." Sasuke said.

"Can we leave the blonde somewhere?" Itachi asked jokingly.

"HEY!" Naruto screamed.

"No, he is irreplaceable." Sasuke said softly.

"Thank you," Naruto screamed.

"Shut up Naruto." Sasuke said shaking his head.

It went quiet because Itachi didn't know what to say but for Sasuke he was waiting for an answer.

"So, are you going to stay with us?" Sasuke asked.

"What if Naruto doesn't want me to stay?" Itachi asked.

"He would have never made the plan if he didn't." Sasuke answered.

"What if you both get sick of me?" Itachi asked.

"JUST SHUT UP AND SAY YES ALREADY!" Naruto screamed.

Itachi put his head down because he really couldn't believe what was happening and he was so happy that he felt the tears coming down his face. Sasuke was shocked but just hugged his brother didn't know how to feel when he felt the arms wrap around him back.

"Thank you," Itachi whispered.

They didn't know Naruto was unknowingly upstairs smiling with them glad that he could fix the pain us the last two Uchiha's. That's how it all started with the three living together and becoming a family that all never knew they would have again but were grateful that it fell in their arms.

* * *

 _ **Reviews...**_

 _ **This is the last one for How, When, & Why. SO I will be posting a different one sooner rather than later. I also have a few new projects coming up but won't be posted until April. I will only post new projects in the beginning of every month just to let everyone know. I can honestly say my school year is going by quick so I should be writing faster again. I really want to work on my old stories to get rid of them because I know a lot of my old readers want to see those stories updated. I am working on Secret Friends right now so hope to have an update for everyone soon.**_


	10. Pregnancy Scare

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **How is everyone?**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 _ **Itachi: 18**_

 ** _Naruto & Sasuke: 15_**

 ** _Enjoy the little chapter._**

* * *

"ITACHI! ITACHI! ITACHI!" Naruto screamed running into the Uchiha household like he owned the place.

"Yes Naruto?" Itachi asked bewildered at the moment.

The blonde came running to his side looking completely out of breath.

"Naruto what's wrong?" Itachi asked.

"I think Sasuke is pregnant." Naruto said.

"What?" Itachi asked confused only to hear the door slam open immediately with a pissed off Sasuke walking into the room pulling Naruto out the room by his hair.

Itachi wasn't really sure what was going on and he kind of didn't want to know. Later if his parents asked if he knew he can say he didn't but Naruto's little slip up made him extremely curious. Problem was he didn't see Sasuke until later in the night when everyone else was around. He decided that wasn't the best time to talk about it.

"Sasuke what was Naruto talking about earlier?" Itachi asked as he followed his younger brother in his room.

"Ignore that retard." Sasuke said lying on his bed.

"Oh I wish I could but it has peeked my interest. I have been thinking about this all day you're just lucky I didn't say it in front of mother and father." Itachi said sitting on his brother's desk chair.

"I was throwing up while we were hanging out and we learned in sex Ed that people that are pregnant tend to get morning sickness." Sasuke explained looking away because he was blushing brightly.

"Why would he think that?" Itachi asked then it all clicked in his head. "OH! You two are like that." Itachi said looking away for his own brother feeling bad that this conversation came up. "I will leave you alone now." Itachi said walking out the room.

Yup he regretted knowing what he knew now and he had Naruto to blame on that one. To do list tomorrow was beat Naruto for sure.

* * *

 _ **Reviews..**_

 _ **yeah that was subtle.**_


	11. Don't Do That

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 _ **Itachi: 6**_

 _ **Naruto: 3**_

 _ **Sasuke: 3**_

 _ **I just wanted to tell everyone that the poll for Difficult Love is still up. Please place your votes in because I won't be doing it for much longer because I want to continue with the story but the tie is killing it.**_

 _ **Thank you for everyone who reads this story I really enjoy writing little stories like this. I hope everyone else enjoys reading it too. I don't know if this story will ever be truly finished.**_

 _ **Enjoy the short chapter...**_

* * *

Itachi was six. SIX. Why did he have to watch his little brother and his little brother's best friend? They were not even at home. They were at the park but their mothers were talking with other mothers so they weren't paying attention so that is why Itachi happens to be in the situation he is in now.

Sasuke and Naruto were both playing in the sandbox and Itachi could see from the side of his eye as he swung on the swing that Naruto was trying to get Sasuke to eat a sand sandwich. Naruto put a little sand in his mouth also.

"Don't do that." Itachi said slapping the sand away from the boy's mouths making them both cry out alerting their mothers.

"What's wrong?" Mikoto asked looking at the young ones.

Naruto told her that Itachi slapped their hands and he couldn't believe the glare he got from his mother only to get home and be on punishment.

That day he learned a lesson don't stop the kids when they tried to eat sand.

The next time they all went to the park Itachi saw them do the same thing and this time he wasn't going to do anything. His mother saw them and ran to them telling them not to eat the sand then glared at him again.

"Why didn't you stop them?" Mikoto asked annoyed.

"The last time I did I got in trouble for it." Itachi said getting a smart mouth with his mother leaving him on another time out when he got home.

That was the second lesson teaching to just not go to the park with those two.

* * *

 ** _Reviews..._**


	12. Stalking at it's best

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter.**_

* * *

Sasuke was on his first date and this shocked both Itachi and Naruto. So, what does the pair decide to do? You got that right they stalk Sasuke on his date with Sakura Haruno and for some reason they wound up together unintentionally. Let's start with how that happened.

"Naruto what are you doing outside my house?" Itachi asked as he went out the door to go to Deidara's house.

"Sasuke is going on a date with Sakura and I want to see how it goes." Naruto answered without taking coming out of the bush.

"Really? My little brother never said anything to me about this." Itachi said his interest piqued.

"He's coming," Naruto said jumping up pulling Itachi down into the bushes.

Sasuke walked out the door on the phone.

"Yeah I am on my way right now." Sasuke said with a small smile on his face. "Okay I will." Sasuke said chuckling and he was gone.

"Did he just smile and laugh?" Naruto said stunned with Itachi nodding.

They both slowly got out the bush and started following him. Itachi knew he was being led by his little brother's best friend but at the moment he didn't care enough to say anything because his curiosity was getting the best of him.

"Naruto do you even know where he is going?" Itachi asked as he followed Naruto.

Naruto turned to Itachi with a weird smile on his face that was when Itachi spotted Naruto had a tracking device on Sasuke.

"What is that in your hand?" Itachi asked.

"A listening device along with a tracking device. I wanted to know what happens because I knew he wouldn't tell me when it was over. I also knew what he was going to wear so I snuck it in the clothes he was wearing." Naruto answered.

"Okay that's going to far I'm leaving now." Itachi said and walked away before he could be seen.

He was curious how Sasuke's date was but he really would rather wait until later and who would have known later would be the next day.

"Hello little brother where were you all night?" Itachi asked.

"Did that idiot tell you I had a date?" Sasuke asked.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Itachi said slightly confused.

"Well I had a date yesterday and that idiot decided he was going to listen and follow me around all damn day so when I went to his house to confront him I just stayed over. I have no idea how he got home before I got to his house but he did and wouldn't tell me either. Damn stalker," Sasuke grumbled.

"So how did the date go?" Itachi asked.

"It sucked like I thought it would." Sasuke said not really shocking Itachi. "It was like I wasted my day until I went to Naruto's house." Sasuke said.

"Oh, so you didn't really mind that he stalked you?" Itachi asked.

"Not really," Sasuke said blushing slightly.

"Well in that case I stalked you yesterday too for a little bit." Itachi said walking away with a smirk.

"WHAT!" Sasuke screamed about to chase his brother only to run into the wall.

Itachi was going to have to talk to Naruto about what happened to get the information Sasuke wasn't given and he was slightly curious to how Naruto got home undetected seeing as he was one of the loudest people in the village.

* * *

 ** _Reviews.._**

 ** _secretive Naruto of course._**


	13. When in Doubt come to Itachi

_**Hello everyone,**_

 _ **How is everyone doing? School is finally done for the semester so now I get to work freely on all my stories. But since I have so many open I put them into categories that should get my stories done faster. I hope you like what I plan.**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 ** _Itachi: 18_**

 ** _Sasuke and Naruto: 16_**

 ** _underlying pairing: Sasuke and Naruto_**

 ** _Enjoy the chapter._**

* * *

For some reason whenever the two numb skulls get in trouble or are having a problem they go to Itachi and Itachi would love to know why. So, what better way than to just ask them?

Naruto and Sasuke ran into the house after school one day both with a problem of their own and Itachi was just fed up with all the questions.

"Why don't you two ask father or mother?" Itachi questioned the two younger teens.

Naruto shrugged with a shy smile that Itachi found weird and oddly cute. "Well... it's because your older than me. I figured you would have a better chance of answering my questions since you're still a teenager too." Naruto said turning his head away from the two Uchiha.

"You're my brother I should always come to you for a problem. Those were your exact words to me." Sasuke answered simply shaking his head.

"I know I said that Sasuke but you don't have to ask me everything." Itachi said sighing. "And why does there seem to be problems every day?" Itachi asked.

"Sorry I won't ask you anymore." Naruto said walking out the room before anyone could say anything.

"Look what you did now Naruto feels bad." Sasuke said getting up and running after his friend.

"What?" Itachi questioned by him straight shocked.

"ITACHI!" Mikoto screamed for him.

Itachi got up from his desk to go by his mother and was not surprised when she looked irritated too.

"What's wrong mother?" Itachi asked.

"Your father is being an asshole again." Mikoto said pouting.

Why does everyone come to him?

"You knew that before you married him mother." Itachi said basically calling his father an asshole.

"I know but that's because I love him." Mikoto whined.

"I have homework to do." Itachi said getting away quickly.

Itachi finally had peace until his phone ring with it being his father.

"Yes father?" Itachi asked.

"Your mother is mad at me again. What should I do to get her to be happy with me again?" Fugaku asked his eldest son.

"Why don't you stop being an asshole as she says?" Itachi asked.

"Watch your mouth Itachi. That I can't help because I don't agree with something she wants." Fugaku said.

"My apologies, why don't you get her that new gardening kit she has been wanting?" Itachi offered.

"That sounds like a good idea. Thank you, son." Fugaku said hanging up.

"I should just give up on business and go to psychology." Itachi mumbled to himself turning back to his computer looking up the best psychology schools for college.

It was at least two hours later when there was a small knock on his door. He got up answering it and was shocked to find a tray of Dango sitting there for him along with a note. He didn't hesitate to pick up his favorite treat and the note. He opened the plastic off the Dango and took one into his mouth before he opened the note.

He was shocked to see that it was from Naruto.

 _Itachi,_

 _Sorry I am always troubling you with my problems. I made you some Dango I hope you like it._

 _-Naruto_

Itachi could honestly say he felt bad now. He knew what to do now that he knew Naruto made the most amazing Dango in the world and that was to marry him.

It was inclined to believe that Itachi went with common sense first and didn't make rash decisions but this decision was definitely rash and it was all because of Dango. So, when dinner rolled around everyone was shocked by the first words to come out Itachi's mouth.

"Naruto we're getting married." Itachi said abruptly making the blonde blush brightly.

"WHAT!" Sasuke screamed standing up quickly. "YOU WILL NOT!" Sasuke screamed.

"Itachi I know... no never mind I don't know what the hell your thinking." Fugaku said shocked.

He loved Naruto like he was another one of his kids but this was something even he didn't know what to say to. If it was Sasuke saying this he would have went to Itachi for advice but since it was Sasuke he was lost.

"Welcome to the family even more Naruto." Mikoto said happily.

Naruto was still sitting there not saying a thing while Sasuke was shocked by his mother's response.

"Why the hell do you want to marry Naruto?" Sasuke asked looking at Itachi with serious eyes.

"He makes delicious Dango." Itachi said.

"Naruto, I told you not to make him Dango." Sasuke said grabbing Naruto and tried pulling him away from the table but Naruto forced him to stop.

"I must respectively decline your marriage offer. I am already in a relationship with the person I love sorry. But I can still make you Dango if you listen to my problems." Naruto said making Sasuke smile softly behind him and Itachi was shocked.

He just noticed that Naruto didn't let go of Sasuke's hand as he spoke and that Sasuke's smile was so soft that it shocked him that he didn't notice before right now. They were telling him problems about each other. He was a relationship counselor.

"Oh, okay I will take that." Itachi said with a smile.

Sasuke pulled Naruto away and Itachi was pleasant with the results he was getting for giving the young couple therapy.

"So, what are you two going to give me for my services to you?" Itachi asked his parents like a true business man.

"We don't owe you anything Itachi." Fugaku growled at his son.

"Then solve your problems yourselves." Itachi said wiping his mouth and getting up from the table.

"What do you want?" Fugaku screamed after his son.

"Dango," Itachi said and walked out the room.

"Pretty simple." Mikoto said with a smile.

"Thank god," Fugaku said continuing to eat with his wife.

"By the way I don't want to go into business anymore. I want to be in psychology." Itachi said popping his head into the doorway walking off hearing a string of curses from his father but didn't care.

'Maybe I can make a profit with different kinds of Dango.' Itachi said as he walked upstairs to hear his brother and Naruto arguing about something but ignored it for now.

That's how it became until Itachi went to college. They say when in doubt go to Itachi for your problems but make sure you bring Dango.

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 ** _Reviews.._**

 ** _I was laughing so hard writing this chapter. I really enjoy writing these little one shots because they make me feel refreshed to write more._**

 ** _I had a rough week someone very close to me just passed away and I needed this laugh so here is a chapter._**


	14. Don't Mess with Itachi's Dango

Itachi didn't know what was going on with his brother but if he caught him one more time eating his Dango he was going to beat him and probably string him up by the tree.

"SASUKE WHY ARE YOU EATING MY DANGO?" Itachi screamed chasing his little brother around the house.

Fugaku caught his son right before he caught Sasuke and Mikoto caught Sasuke.

"What's going on with you two?" Fugaku asked.

"He keeps eating my Dango," Itachi said.

"Sasuke?" Fugaku asked looking at his son.

"I'm not," Sasuke lied.

"YOU LIAR I SAW YOU" Itachi screamed thrashing in his father's hold.

"No, I didn't," Sasuke said and their mother let him go.

"Itachi sit down," Fugaku said as Sasuke walked away with a smirk because he has been eating his Dango.

"Itachi I know you really like your Dango but that doesn't mean to blame it on your brother just because you ate it all." Fugaku said firmly.

"I saw him eat my Dango." Itachi said adamant about the Dango thief.

"We will get you some more honey just be calm." Mikoto said.

"Fine," Itachi growled getting up from his seat.

Itachi already had a plan in motion on what he was going to do to his little brother. The next day when Sasuke tried to take some of the Dango from Itachi he got a surprise he didn't like. He screamed and ran to his brother's room.

"WHAT DID YOU DO?" Sasuke screamed at the doorway.

"That's what you get for eating my Dango," Itachi said calmly with a smirk on his face proud of his work.

Itachi put a spicy pepper on the Dango for a whole hour yesterday so that it would be hot when his brother went to eat it. Then he put something on the stick so it would show that his brother got into his Dango.

"FATHER" Itachi screamed.

"What is it?" Fugaku asked as he came to see his oldest with his youngest in a headlock. "What is going on?" Fugaku asked as he split them up only to see Sasuke's lips puffy red and his fingers with blue markings. "What happened to you?" Fugaku asked.

"I told you he kept stealing my Dango so I proved a point by setting traps and he fell for each of them." Itachi said.

After that Sasuke got in trouble and grounded for a month and it left Itachi very pleased.


	15. Fires

_**Hekki bottom everyone.**_

 _ **How is everyone? I for one am in between loving the holiday's and hating them.**_

 _ **Reviews:**_

 _ **Guest; FalsedFaith691: Sorry about that Itachi was 14 while Sasuke was 11 in the last chapter.**_

 _ **Guest; Yami Heart: I like spicy food too but it's not normally what you get when you eat Dango. Not with Itachi at least.**_

 _ **lara5170: I didn't think of that because this is such a split decision but they always come back hard in each little chapter.**_

 _ **TItania1796: la leccion no robar.**_

 _ **Ages in this chapter:**_

 _ **Itachi: 12**_

 _ **Naruto and Sasuke: 5**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter and the holiday's.**_

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Itachi wanted to cry he really did but at the moment he was standing outside his house in the middle of winter with his younger brother Sasuke and his little brother's best friend Naruto. Why were they standing outside you ask? Because the little ones accidentally set the whole house on fire and their parents were on their way home from a date.

"Itachi what happened?" Fugaku asked running up to the kids.

"I walked away for only a second and then the house was on fire. I just got them out and stood here," Itachi said in complete shock.

"FUGAKU!" Minato came screaming worried about his son.

"Your son is right here," Fugaku said gesturing to let him in the tape from the police officers.

"What happened?" Minato asked.

"My son got our younger boys out of the fire that engulfed my house," Fugaku said.

"Thank god your all okay," Minato said.

Itachi glanced at his little brother and his friend and realized they were little demons and he never wanted to be alone in a house with them again.

"Fugaku rest assured you can all come to stay at my house," Minato said to his best friend.

"Thank you Minato," Fugaku said.

Later that week he was now sure that the two planned it when the two were playing with each other. They wanted to live together and the two got what they wanted the moment the house was set on fire.

"Itachi we will be leaving now," their parents said at the door.

"NO NO NO!" Itachi screamed.

"What's wrong?" Minato asked.

"At least put them in the basement or I am going to die," Itachi whined.

"They are only five years old Itachi you will be fine," Mikoto said to her older son patting him on the shoulder.

Later that night they tried to set his hair on fire and it was official that his little brother and Naruto were demons sent from hell to torture him.

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 ** _Reviews..._**

 ** _This chapter was funny in my opinion._**


	16. Questionable Situations

**_Hekki bottom everyone_**

 ** _Reviews: I appreciate all of the reviews, favorites, and follows. It is very important to have support as an author and I am glad you all support my works even though I take long writing. This happens to be one of my stories that could end at any time because it is a bundle of one-shots._**

 ** _Ages:_**

 ** _Itachi: 19_**

 ** _Naruto: 16_**

 ** _Sasuke: 17_**

 ** _Enjoy this little chapter._**

* * *

Itachi didn't know why he was always in these questionable situations but this was the one time he wished he wasn't back at home.

"I'm sorry," Naruto said leaving the room quickly.

"What were you doing Naruto?" Sasuke asked in the hallway.

"Nothing," Naruto said Itachi didn't see the blush on his face.

He was sure he knew what Naruto was thinking considering the position he was in. Why did no one in his family home knock before they came in?

"Sasuke I think I walked in on your brother jacking off," Naruto whispered as Itachi walked past the room they were in.

He was actually grateful that he didn't show himself to them. He really wanted to avoid Naruto for the remaining time of him being back from college.

He knew it was too good to be true the moment he was alone with his best friend and his best friend thought it was okay to wrestle and pin him to his bed. This time it was worse because the door was open and Sasuke was the one to see.

"Brother I don't care if your gay just close the door," Sasuke said closing the door for him.

Itachi didn't even want to face Kisame after that and kicked him out of the house immediately. Kisame wasn't sure what was going on but he was kind of glad to get away because even he felt uncomfortable.

It has literally been a week later after that incident and Itachi couldn't believe how many questionable situations his brother and Naruto caught him in since he has been home. He was actually starting to think the heavens didn't want him to come home.

"Do you think Itachi really is gay?" Naruto asked quietly in the living not trying to let Fugaku hear but Itachi heard loud and clear so he was sure his father heard what was said too.

"Naruto you don't know how to whisper and who cares," Sasuke said.

Sasuke said he didn't care right there but it was clear that all the times he caught his brother was raising red flags with him.

"If you want to know something about me ask me," Itachi whispered in Naruto's ear and walked out of the room.

"Don't encourage him, brother," Sasuke said as Naruto blushed bright red.

Sasuke slapped Naruto in the back of the head and gestured for him to come with him.

"Them two," Fugaku said shaking his head.

"What's going on?" Itachi asked his father.

"Naruto came out a month ago and is asking Sasuke for help but they both don't know what it means," Fugaku said.

Itachi was shocked and now he realized he was in another weird position because now Naruto wanted gay relationship advice and he has never been in a relationship, to begin with. He walked back to his room with the information he just got and was going to use it to avoid his brother and Naruto for the remainder of the time he was in town. But the problem with that is Naruto was waiting outside his bedroom door wanting to talk to him.

Itachi sighed, "Naruto I think you got me mistaken I don't think I will be able to give you good advice," Itachi said as he got to his bedroom door.

"Oh okay..." Naruto said starting to walk away.

Itachi for some reason felt bad and couldn't help but pull Naruto back only leading to them falling on the floor their lips crashing together. Naruto and Itachi were shocked.

"COME ON NARUTO!" Sasuke snapped pulling Naruto off his brother. "I told you to ask for advice not kiss him," Sasuke said as they walked to his room.

"It was an accident," Naruto said loudly as the door shut.

"I knew I should have never got involved," Itachi said as he leaned his head back on the floor.

That summer ended and he left back to school away from all the questionable situations he could possibly be in being there.

"Later Itachi it was nice seeing you again brother," Sasuke said with a blushing Naruto behind him.

"Naruto stop being a scaredy cat," Sasuke whispered but Itachi still heard it as he pushed Naruto in front of himself.

"Sorry about the accidental kiss," Naruto said shyly making Sasuke chuckle.

"It was an accident no need to apologize," Itachi said blushing and looking away.

Sasuke made a gesture and pushed Naruto forward right into Itachi which Itachi caught him before he fell. He didn't expect what he got next as Naruto gently kissed him telling him he liked him and then ran away from the train station.

"You did that on purpose didn't you?" Itachi said to his little brother.

"Well you can't blame me for all your questionable situations," Sasuke said after he waved bye and went after his friend.

Itachi shook his head as he went on the train. It seems like he was going to be in a lot more questionable situations in the future.

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 _ **Reviews...**_

 _ **If you have any ideas then I will try to grant them as best as possible. Let me know what you would like to see in a one-shot for this series or any stories in general. You can always tell me what you would like to see or read.**_


	17. Elevator Troubles

_**Hello everyone**_

 _ **Happy Thanksgiving everyone. As I said in another chapter be grateful and thankful for the people and family your with. Treat your loved ones with love and care.**_

 _ **Thank you for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. It is really appreciated. If you have any ideas be sure to write them in the reviews that way I can check it out.**_

 _ **Ages:**_

 _ **Itachi: 10**_

 _ **Sasuke & Naruto: 6**_

 _ **Enjoy the chapter.**_

* * *

Itachi was on the elevator with his younger brother and Naruto his younger brother's best friend and the moment he realized it was bad to be in an elevator with two six-year-olds was when he couldn't get out of the elevator. He will forever take the stairs after this day.

"Ita I'm hungry," Naruto whined as they all just sat there.

"I don't have any food on me," Itachi said.

"Can we play a game?" Sasuke asked looking at his older brother.

"No," Itachi said not wanting them to do anything else while they were stuck on this elevator.

"Naruto can you stop pushing me?" Sasuke asked annoyed.

"But I'm cold," Naruto whined.

'Why did he get stuck here with these two?' Itachi begged God.

Let me start from the beginning they are in their father's job in the elevator and they were going up until Naruto and Sasuke started to fight to press the button and they pressed every single one of them then got the elevator to stop. Now they have been in the elevator for three hours waiting for maintenance and Itachi has had just about enough of both of them and he wants to kill them.

"IF YOU TWO DON'T STOP I WILL HIT YOU BOTH!" Itachi snapped as the two younger ones started fighting.

That was a mistake and Itachi knew it the moment he screamed but he didn't know what else to do at that point. They both started to cry and Itachi just wanted to climb out of the elevator and find help.

"Come here you two," Itachi said and they both did slowly.

Itachi opened his coat to both of them and they both got in at separate sides and Naruto found himself practically in Itachi's lap seeing as Sasuke pulled the majority of the coat toward his side and then they both fell asleep which relieved the ten-year-old Itachi so much because he couldn't deal with the two anymore.

It was roughly two hours later when the elevator was opened and they were found all sleeping together. Itachi was shocked because he fell asleep with the kids. Now he was really upset when he found out that pictures of them all were taken and the picture was now in his father's study and on his work desk along with his idol Minato's work and home. Minato was Naruto's father and Fugaku Itachi's father's best friend but now he was ashamed of himself every time he saw the picture.

It took two months for him to face Minato the way he wanted again before he couldn't face him again because Minato's screensaver was a picture of the three of them sleeping together then he couldn't face him longer than that.

But the moral of the story for Itachi is to never get on an elevator with his brother or Naruto again. Also, to not ever let Naruto sleep on him ever again because he bites.

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 ** _I love reviews... so please leave them if you have time._**


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